Friday, April 24, 2009

Back Me Up Here...

You know Jurassic 5? It's a DJ group Leo thinks is famous. He must die. Tell him they don't exist.

- Paddy

Too Soon For Visitors?

Are people going out to score your son today?

- Andy 5 days after Carla's baby brother was born

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Unlovely Day

I'm pouring out all the dregs from the cans from Friday and I can tell exactly how many Fin drank because all of his ones have big horrible mouthfuls of spit in them. Lovely it is not.

- Ralph

I Don't Think That Will Work

Paddy will you text Lorraine and tell her her phone is in the kitchen?

- Paddy's Mum

Hey Mum & Dad

Hey mum and dad. I hate this cunt so much. Why doesn't he just die. I can't wait til he's gone or dies.

I'd rather be out with a black lesbian quadraplegic. Whatever. I'll pretend to have fun.

I just can't be myself around this guy. He's nice but not the kind of person I'd want to be my friend.

I hate SO much that you made me have to go out with this guy!

I hate this shit so much! But I'll pretend like I'm having fun!

If I have to spend another night with this guy I will kill someone. Seriously!

Don't tell him I told you all that.

Please ignore all the messages I sent. I don't really mean all of it. He's ok. Just stupid.

- The messages Paddy sent his dad on a night out with a German house guest he'd been put in charge of looking after for the night.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Just Call Me Miss Matchmaker

Orla's drunk. I'd try........

-Megan trying to unite Orla & Orla's male suiter

I Think I'll Just Have A Quiet One Tonight...

My body is a temple and last night I smeared shit all over the walls of said temple. Gotta let that temple heal.

-Ralph

Mixed Signals

Ok, I'm going to stop texting you now because I hate you. Coffee tomorrow?

-Carla

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Babies Do The Cutest Things

Never thought of 'the baby is coming' in such terms as I just have. Little fucker jerkin off in the womb. Havin a feel of the walls.

- Fin

Jetlag

Shawty you so fly you giving me jetlag.

- Paddy